The Bus Ride

The first time I remember hurting over someone else's words happened on the school bus in first grade.  It  was really a van that took several first through third graders from a daycare to school for those who had parents that went to work early.  I was sitting in the back of the van, when a boy sat next to me.  My heart smiled.  It was nice that someone "chose" to sit next to me.  

On the way to the school, we talked about riding bikes and other kid stuff.  I felt a little ashamed when he seemed surprised that I couldn't ride without training wheels, but I came up with a justifiable reason why I hadn't learned without them yet.  During an awkward silence in the conversation, he broke the ice with the most random, blatant question that could have only come from the unfiltered mouth of a child.  "Why is one of your legs fatter than the other?"  I must have had a look of sheer terror on my face!   He tried to retract some of the damage with "I mean, why does one of your thighs have more meat on it than the other one?"  

I know that this was just the first grade, and I know that the boy was not trying to be cruel and didn't realize what he said left such an impact on me, but I have remembered the conversation to this day.  Words really can be a double edged sword, whether you mean for them to or not.  What happened that day on the bus has haunted me my whole life.  Of course it doesn't seem like much to you reading this.  For me, it opened up a door in my innocent childhood to see myself as imperfect.  Through that door, also came the realization that what you say can change someone's way of thinking, their mood, their confidence, their life even.